I found this quote in a book I was reading the other day and it really spoke to me.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” –Viktor Frankl
I found this statement to be quite profound. It spoke to me in my recovery because I often forget that I do in fact have the power to choose. Many of the things that I have in my life now since my recovery has taken hold are direct results and consequences of the choices that I have made. We often times get mono-focused on the role that other people play in our lives and how what he/she did had an impact on us. Not nearly as often and of course I speak predominantly for myself, we don’t ponder on the choices that we made which lead us to that point.
Someone said to me the other day, “I try to think about what my role is in all of it. When something is bothering me I think: what is it about me that made me feel this way?” While focusing primarily on our influence on the world or our current circumstance can get us in trouble, I sure know it does for me; it is an important perspective to take especially when times are tough.
When something isn’t going the way we think it should, it may be that all we need is to take a step back for moment and think on what choices lead us there and perhaps, what choices will take us in the direction that we are wanting or needing to go. Introspection is a powerful tool that is useful in determining the right course of action in a given situation. So next time you are having trouble with a situation, person, event etc. ask yourself a few questions.
- What choices lead me here?
- How have my choices impacted others?
- What path would I rather take?
- What choices could I have made?
- What could the possible outcomes have been if I had chosen otherwise?
- How can I choose differently next time?
- Is it really so bad that I am in this predicament?
- What would happen if I chose not to act and trust in my higher power?
- Am I able to let go of my will and allow that higher power take the wheel?
- What is the cost/benefit of making this next choice?
Of course, there are a multitude of other questions we can ask ourselves that will yield similar results as these. Perhaps writing a few of your own down on a sheet of paper will make them a little more personal to your unique situation and recovery. I encourage you to try this some time when you have a moment to sit and think about it or maybe in a moment of trials and stress. Getting a trusted friend or relative involved and verbally processing the sequence may be beneficial as well. I know that for myself, relying on my community to act as a sounding board for me when I am having difficulty will get me through to a place of action and peace.
That’s all I have for today. Thanks for reading!
As always, keep on being awesome! See you next time.